blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
