dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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