Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's always time for handjobs
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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