she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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