I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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