You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize