Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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