like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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