he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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