Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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