I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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