Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
