I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
