there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
