Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
