Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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