He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
