oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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