There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
