i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
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