I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
