That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
