i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
