I wish life had little blips of pornography
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
