I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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