Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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