this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this will be a night to untag.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
