I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
