i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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