I love black thongs
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
