Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
