i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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