The maid of honor just puked.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
