Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
