i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
