I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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