I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
