He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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