two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
