Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
