She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
