this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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