my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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