i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
