His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
