Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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