please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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