he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
