Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
