I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there was a trapeze. enough said
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
