You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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