Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize