Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
