You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
