Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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