so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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