Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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