do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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