girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
