Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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