is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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