Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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