so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
These tits shall not be calmed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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