I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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