Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
