First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize