Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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