My first STD was from a foam party
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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