brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
